GOODR - Scream if you hate gravity

REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND CAREFREE AND YOUR BOOBS USED TO STAND UP AND SAY HELLO WHEN YOU WALKED INTO A ROOM INSTEAD OF STARING SHYLY AT THE FLOOR?! REMEMBER WHEN YOU COULD TAKE A WALK WITHOUT PLAYING HACKY SACK WITH YOUR OWN SACK?! US TOO!!! F*CK GRAVITY!!!! RELIVE YOUR PERKY PAST BY EMBRACING SOME EXXXXTREEEEEEME SPORTS AND EXXXTREME WRAP G SUNNIES. JUMP OUT OF THAT PLANE WITH YOUR MIDDLE FINGERS BLAZING AND SCREAM IF YOU HATE GRAVITY!!!

LOOK GOOD, BIKE GOODR.

1 NO SLIP

WE USE A SPECIAL GRIP COATING AND TEMPLE GRIPS TO CONSTRUCT OUR FRAME TO HELP ELIMINATE SLIPPAGE WHEN YOUR LAVA-INDUCED SWEAT POPS WHILE VOLCANO SURFING.

2 NO BOUNCE

OUR FRAME IS FITTED AND LIGHTWEIGHT, WITH A REMOVABLE NOSE-PIECE AND TWO SIZING OPTIONS TO PREVENT BOUNCING WHEN YOU LAND ON YOUR MOTORCYCLE SEAT AFTER DIVING OUT OF A HELICOPTER.

3 ANTI-FOG

EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE ANTI-FOG COATING PREVENTS THE INSIDE OF THIS EXTREME WRAPAROUND LENS FROM FOGGING EVEN WITH THE EXTREMEST SWEAT.

4 ALL POLARIZED

GLARE-REDUCING, POLARIZED LENSES AND UV400 PROTECTION THAT BLOCKS THOSE HARMFUL UVA AND UVB RAYS.

5 ALL EXTREME

YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE, YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL. BOTH EXTREMELY EXTREME EXTREMISTS YEAHHHHHAHARGHHHHHWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO